"Maybe he was just high on his drugs again, but that shouldn't be an excuse."
~Senator Tom Harkin, D-Iowa
And you thought that Democrats decried personal attacks. Right...
You'd think that of all the things that Rush Limbaugh says, the democrats wouldn't pick their fight against Limbaugh with something he didn't say. The charge they made is that in his radio broadcast Sept. 26, Mr. Limbaugh described Iraq war veterans who oppose the war as "phony soldiers."
The transcript for the show goes something like this:
Mike in Olympia," who identified himself as an Iraq war veteran, complained Democrats and journalists "never talk to real soldiers. They like to pull these soldiers that come up out of the blue and talk to the media."
"The phony soldiers," Mr. Limbaugh responded. After the caller hung up, Rush elaborated: "Here is a morning update that we did recently, talking about fake soldiers. This is a story of who the left props up as heroes. They have their celebrities and one of them was Army Ranger Jesse Macbeth..."
The left wing group Media Matters passed out an edited transcript of the conversation that omitted all references to Mr. Macbeth, to bolster their claim that Mr. Limbaugh had been referring to all antiwar veterans. Stupid.
Go back to the beginning of this note. Did you re-read that quote from Senator Tom Harkin? Good. Let's brush up on Mr. Harkin. In 1991, he claimed he was a Naval aviator who had flown combat missions in Vietnam. And he was a Navy pilot, but he never got anywhere near the war zone. So he probably took it personally that Rush Limbaugh was insulting soldiers who embellished their military records.
So after the Democrats got the edited version of Rush's transcript, they were estatic because they thought they could bring down a hated enemy. But then the real transcript came out and the Democrats had to withdraw their claims. Nope, still more lies. But when the news media is almost entirely liberal, why NOT lie?
Monday, October 8, 2007
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Liberal Lies
This one will take some setting up. So I'll have to introduce all the players.
Rush Limbaugh - Conservative talk radio king.
Media Matters - ultra left-wing machine created by Hillary Clinton and her supporters and backers to carry forth the attack on conservative talk radio
Jesse MacBeth - US Army Ranger
Here's the controversy. Media Matters has cooked up a storm over a recent Rush Limbaugh broadcast where he called service members who advocate U.S. withdrawal from Iraq 'phony soldiers'. It started with Jesse Macbeth. Many of you may have heard of Jesse MacBeth. Actually, you probably haven't because you're all probably not as interested in uncovering liberal lies as I am. So I'll brief you.
Jesse Macbeth is a United States soldier, and he became the liberal's poster earlier this year when he started telling stories about all of the hideous crimes he saw our soldiers commit while he was serving in Afghanistan and Iraq as an Army ranger. The only problem was, Macbeth was lying.
No, really. He was. This is from a release from the U.S. Attorney's Office for the Western District of Washington:
"U.S. Attorney Jeffrey C. Sullivan today announced some of the results of "Operation Stolen Valor," a year long effort to investigate and prosecute those who lie about their military service for financial gain or other reasons."
Here's Sullivan's description of Macbeth:
"Jesse Macbeth, 23, Tacoma, Washington, sentenced today in connection with his fraudulent claims of military service. Macbeth sought medical benefits claiming to suffer from PTSD related to service in Iraq and Afghanistan, in fact, Macbeth was discharged from the Army about a month after he joined. Macbeth never traveled outside the U.S. with the Army. Macbeth duped reporters, claiming to be a decorated Army Ranger who had witnessed war crimes."
Limbaugh was directing his comments clearly at MacBeth and only MacBeth, and the liberals took it and ran put words in his mouth. And it really annoys me. If you have a problem with someone, or some group, then fine. I can accept that. But inventing problems means that you can't find any real problems and are simply sore about your failure.
This is simply a desperate woman using her own creation to try and win an election. No one ever said politicians were completely honest and ethical, but this is beyond bad. Kind of like Hillary's Baby Bonus. Didn't even mention it would cost taxpayers $20 billion annually.
And how about this? Los Angeles spent $35 million in July on welfare for illegal criminal aliens! In one month! Don't say they're not a drain on society. Yes, I admit, there are plenty of hard-working illegal criminals, but the majority of them are not.
Rush Limbaugh - Conservative talk radio king.
Media Matters - ultra left-wing machine created by Hillary Clinton and her supporters and backers to carry forth the attack on conservative talk radio
Jesse MacBeth - US Army Ranger
Here's the controversy. Media Matters has cooked up a storm over a recent Rush Limbaugh broadcast where he called service members who advocate U.S. withdrawal from Iraq 'phony soldiers'. It started with Jesse Macbeth. Many of you may have heard of Jesse MacBeth. Actually, you probably haven't because you're all probably not as interested in uncovering liberal lies as I am. So I'll brief you.
Jesse Macbeth is a United States soldier, and he became the liberal's poster earlier this year when he started telling stories about all of the hideous crimes he saw our soldiers commit while he was serving in Afghanistan and Iraq as an Army ranger. The only problem was, Macbeth was lying.
No, really. He was. This is from a release from the U.S. Attorney's Office for the Western District of Washington:
"U.S. Attorney Jeffrey C. Sullivan today announced some of the results of "Operation Stolen Valor," a year long effort to investigate and prosecute those who lie about their military service for financial gain or other reasons."
Here's Sullivan's description of Macbeth:
"Jesse Macbeth, 23, Tacoma, Washington, sentenced today in connection with his fraudulent claims of military service. Macbeth sought medical benefits claiming to suffer from PTSD related to service in Iraq and Afghanistan, in fact, Macbeth was discharged from the Army about a month after he joined. Macbeth never traveled outside the U.S. with the Army. Macbeth duped reporters, claiming to be a decorated Army Ranger who had witnessed war crimes."
Limbaugh was directing his comments clearly at MacBeth and only MacBeth, and the liberals took it and ran put words in his mouth. And it really annoys me. If you have a problem with someone, or some group, then fine. I can accept that. But inventing problems means that you can't find any real problems and are simply sore about your failure.
This is simply a desperate woman using her own creation to try and win an election. No one ever said politicians were completely honest and ethical, but this is beyond bad. Kind of like Hillary's Baby Bonus. Didn't even mention it would cost taxpayers $20 billion annually.
And how about this? Los Angeles spent $35 million in July on welfare for illegal criminal aliens! In one month! Don't say they're not a drain on society. Yes, I admit, there are plenty of hard-working illegal criminals, but the majority of them are not.
Hope Solo
Dear Greg Ryan,
Congratulations on taking the US Women's Soccer team, better known as the Best Team You've Never Heard Of, to the World Cup semi-finals. However, it is my belief that you're also insane.
Sincerely,
Nate Ballance, US Soccer Fan
So what if Brianna Scurry was 12-0 against Brazil? THIS IS SOCCER, NOT BASEBALL. In baseball, you can pinch-hit a right-handed batter against a lefty pitcher to gain an advantage. As a soccer goalie, you're either going to stop the shots, or you're not.
Scurry used to be good. Real good. But she's 36 now. She was good. Not anymore.
To quote Ms. Solo,
"It's not 2004 anymore. It's not 2004. It's 2007 and I think you have to live in the present and you can't live by big names, you can't live in the past. It doesn't matter what somebody did in an Olympic Gold Medal game three years ago. Now is what matters, and that's what I think."
And she's absolutely right. Solo got the team to the World Cup, and hadn't allowed a goal in the tournament. How do you bench a player that's been perfect?
So, here's the point. The USA team lost 4-0. Scurry looked absolutely lost on a cross and missed both of Marta's shots. Shots she easily saves five years ago, and Solo makes now. And let's not even talk about about the own goal. Or we can. Leslie Osbourne headed a Brazil corner right past a stunned Scurry. Why so surprised Scurry? Oh yeah, you forgot to let Osbourne know that no one from Brazil was near the ball, and you were getting ready to catch it? My goodness.
Really bad decision that I don't understand at all. It's like the Russians pulling Tretiak or Grady Little not pulling Pedro. The US ladies can still take home a medal (given, the bronze) but even if they win the consolation match, that's all it is. A consolation
Congratulations on taking the US Women's Soccer team, better known as the Best Team You've Never Heard Of, to the World Cup semi-finals. However, it is my belief that you're also insane.
Sincerely,
Nate Ballance, US Soccer Fan
So what if Brianna Scurry was 12-0 against Brazil? THIS IS SOCCER, NOT BASEBALL. In baseball, you can pinch-hit a right-handed batter against a lefty pitcher to gain an advantage. As a soccer goalie, you're either going to stop the shots, or you're not.
Scurry used to be good. Real good. But she's 36 now. She was good. Not anymore.
To quote Ms. Solo,
"It's not 2004 anymore. It's not 2004. It's 2007 and I think you have to live in the present and you can't live by big names, you can't live in the past. It doesn't matter what somebody did in an Olympic Gold Medal game three years ago. Now is what matters, and that's what I think."
And she's absolutely right. Solo got the team to the World Cup, and hadn't allowed a goal in the tournament. How do you bench a player that's been perfect?
So, here's the point. The USA team lost 4-0. Scurry looked absolutely lost on a cross and missed both of Marta's shots. Shots she easily saves five years ago, and Solo makes now. And let's not even talk about about the own goal. Or we can. Leslie Osbourne headed a Brazil corner right past a stunned Scurry. Why so surprised Scurry? Oh yeah, you forgot to let Osbourne know that no one from Brazil was near the ball, and you were getting ready to catch it? My goodness.
Really bad decision that I don't understand at all. It's like the Russians pulling Tretiak or Grady Little not pulling Pedro. The US ladies can still take home a medal (given, the bronze) but even if they win the consolation match, that's all it is. A consolation
Obama's Social Security Solution
We've covered a horrible plan from Hillary on Healthcare. Now it's Obama's turn. He proposed a new plan to fix Social Security the other day. Let me start off by saying I hate Social Security. Not only is it another governmental program to help the lazy, it doesn't even work.
Did you know that if you start working a Social Security taxable job at age 21, the program will return less than 1% of that money you paid? And that's only if you start collecting Social Security as soon as your eligible, and live to be 90?
Anyways, back to Obama's plan. He's got a typical liberal plan to fix it. Tax the rich more money. That's it buddy, tax the people that won't ever need to collect Social Security. If you're a smart person, or only partially-intelligent and invest your money wisely, you won't ever have a need for Social Security. Like welfare, but that's a different issue.
Currently, Social Security can only tax up to $97,000 of income per year. Anything above that is exempt from the tax. Obama plans to eliminate that cap, and make all income above $97,000 taxable at a 12.4% clip.
Ever play Mario Party? If you have, then you've probably run into this situation. You've got about 100 coins and everyone else has 10. Then some schlub lands on a Bowser space and gets the "Bowser Revolution" option and everyone's coins are divided evenly amongst all four players. Naturally, you're pretty pissed.
That's basically what Social Security is...an income redistribution scheme. Take money from those who work and give it to those who don't. The top 10% of income earners already pay something over 80% of all taxes. Then they should receive 80% of the benefits too.
So what's the solution? Duh, the FairTax.
Tourists come to this country and spend billions of dollars on everything from ash trays to second homes, and do they pay any Social Security tax? Nope, not a penny. But under the FairTax every dollar a tourist spends on a hotel room in New York or a ticket at Disney World would see 23% sent to the federal government.
Ditto for the underground economy and the money spent by our wonderful, hard-working illegal aliens. Just how much do you think they're paying into Social Security now? About the same as the tile on my bathroom floor.
So, in the bad plan game,
Hillary - 1
Obama - 1
I still haven't really settled on anyone from the Republican field, but anyone has got to be better than these two God-complex airheads. Hell, give me Bill...well, maybe not. Never mind.
Did you know that if you start working a Social Security taxable job at age 21, the program will return less than 1% of that money you paid? And that's only if you start collecting Social Security as soon as your eligible, and live to be 90?
Anyways, back to Obama's plan. He's got a typical liberal plan to fix it. Tax the rich more money. That's it buddy, tax the people that won't ever need to collect Social Security. If you're a smart person, or only partially-intelligent and invest your money wisely, you won't ever have a need for Social Security. Like welfare, but that's a different issue.
Currently, Social Security can only tax up to $97,000 of income per year. Anything above that is exempt from the tax. Obama plans to eliminate that cap, and make all income above $97,000 taxable at a 12.4% clip.
Ever play Mario Party? If you have, then you've probably run into this situation. You've got about 100 coins and everyone else has 10. Then some schlub lands on a Bowser space and gets the "Bowser Revolution" option and everyone's coins are divided evenly amongst all four players. Naturally, you're pretty pissed.
That's basically what Social Security is...an income redistribution scheme. Take money from those who work and give it to those who don't. The top 10% of income earners already pay something over 80% of all taxes. Then they should receive 80% of the benefits too.
So what's the solution? Duh, the FairTax.
Tourists come to this country and spend billions of dollars on everything from ash trays to second homes, and do they pay any Social Security tax? Nope, not a penny. But under the FairTax every dollar a tourist spends on a hotel room in New York or a ticket at Disney World would see 23% sent to the federal government.
Ditto for the underground economy and the money spent by our wonderful, hard-working illegal aliens. Just how much do you think they're paying into Social Security now? About the same as the tile on my bathroom floor.
So, in the bad plan game,
Hillary - 1
Obama - 1
I still haven't really settled on anyone from the Republican field, but anyone has got to be better than these two God-complex airheads. Hell, give me Bill...well, maybe not. Never mind.
Let's Talk Talk Radio
Ever since the Fairness Doctrine was repealed by the FCC, liberals have been trying to get it reenacted. Why? Because they flat-out suck at it. And if they can't be good at it, no one can.
[For those of you not familiar with the Fairness Doctrine, the CliffsNotes on it is if a radio station broacasts an hour of one opinion, it has to provide equal opportunity for opposing views]
Conservative talk-show hosts have flourished and dominated the airwaves while liberal shows have crashed and burned. Why? Because they can't attract listeners from other parties. Conservative radio flows because it pisses off democrats and they continue to listen and call in to get ripped to pieces by hosts who are far more informed and intelligent.
Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Laura Ingraham are the Triumvirate of Talk Radio, and every liberal left of Ann Coulter hates them. Why? Because they're right. And every liberal hates being out-smarted by more capable conservatives.
In America there's this thing called free speech...First Amendment, you might have heard of it. Liberals tend to support it...but only when it suits them. When minorities are given a voice or when it's time for Bush to be bashed, then free speech is fine. Or when they're desperately trying to win votes, it's fine. But not when something's being said that they don't agree with. Then free speech is a probem.
A week ago, the Democrats held a debate that was broadcast on Univision in Spanish. The Republicans refused to partake because they feel that in an English-speaking country, the leader should lead in English. The Democrats countered with the fact that 15% of the United States speak Spanish. Well, that true, but most of those Spanish speaking people in the US also speak English, and therefore have no need for a Spanish-broadcast debate. The "Americans" that speak ONLY Spanish? Criminal illegal aliens that don't have the right to vote anyways.
In other news, Vicente Fox (Mexican President) called George W. Bush the "cockiest man he's met." This from the man who thinks he can tell the United States how and to what extent it can protect its own border? Please.
Also, Hillary's about to reveal her new Healthcare Plan. Let's hope this one doesn't send people to jail for using doctors not approved by her master plan. Hold on to your band-aids America, here comes socialism!
And finally, the California Supreme Court ruled that high schools can't censor their students in their newspapers. Andrew Smith sued his school district for censoring much of his work, specifically his plan to rid the state of it's exoberant amount of illegal criminal aliens.
~~"It can't be hard to find and detain the people who can't speak English. If a person looks suspicious than just stop them and ask a few questions, and if they answer 'que?,' detain them and see if they are legal."~~
Sounds like a plan to me. It may inconvenience the few legal immigrants, but if they can provide legal docmentation, more power to them. Get a job and contribute to the country, and if you already do, learn English. Apparently breaking the law is okay if you're sneaking into the country and mooching off hardworking, legal citizens.
[For those of you not familiar with the Fairness Doctrine, the CliffsNotes on it is if a radio station broacasts an hour of one opinion, it has to provide equal opportunity for opposing views]
Conservative talk-show hosts have flourished and dominated the airwaves while liberal shows have crashed and burned. Why? Because they can't attract listeners from other parties. Conservative radio flows because it pisses off democrats and they continue to listen and call in to get ripped to pieces by hosts who are far more informed and intelligent.
Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Laura Ingraham are the Triumvirate of Talk Radio, and every liberal left of Ann Coulter hates them. Why? Because they're right. And every liberal hates being out-smarted by more capable conservatives.
In America there's this thing called free speech...First Amendment, you might have heard of it. Liberals tend to support it...but only when it suits them. When minorities are given a voice or when it's time for Bush to be bashed, then free speech is fine. Or when they're desperately trying to win votes, it's fine. But not when something's being said that they don't agree with. Then free speech is a probem.
A week ago, the Democrats held a debate that was broadcast on Univision in Spanish. The Republicans refused to partake because they feel that in an English-speaking country, the leader should lead in English. The Democrats countered with the fact that 15% of the United States speak Spanish. Well, that true, but most of those Spanish speaking people in the US also speak English, and therefore have no need for a Spanish-broadcast debate. The "Americans" that speak ONLY Spanish? Criminal illegal aliens that don't have the right to vote anyways.
In other news, Vicente Fox (Mexican President) called George W. Bush the "cockiest man he's met." This from the man who thinks he can tell the United States how and to what extent it can protect its own border? Please.
Also, Hillary's about to reveal her new Healthcare Plan. Let's hope this one doesn't send people to jail for using doctors not approved by her master plan. Hold on to your band-aids America, here comes socialism!
And finally, the California Supreme Court ruled that high schools can't censor their students in their newspapers. Andrew Smith sued his school district for censoring much of his work, specifically his plan to rid the state of it's exoberant amount of illegal criminal aliens.
~~"It can't be hard to find and detain the people who can't speak English. If a person looks suspicious than just stop them and ask a few questions, and if they answer 'que?,' detain them and see if they are legal."~~
Sounds like a plan to me. It may inconvenience the few legal immigrants, but if they can provide legal docmentation, more power to them. Get a job and contribute to the country, and if you already do, learn English. Apparently breaking the law is okay if you're sneaking into the country and mooching off hardworking, legal citizens.
Hillary's Heathcare Plan
Let me get this out. I agree with something in Clinton's Plan. I'll repeat that. Yes, NATHANIEL G. BALLANCE AGREES WITH SOMETHING HILLARY CLINTON PLANS ON DOING. Shocking, I know, but sometimes even a blind squirrel finds a nut.
Hillary Clinton unveiled her new healthcare plan the other day and it will NOT cover illegal criminal aliens. Even Hillary seems to understand that criminals don't deserve any benefits from the government, except a free ride out of the country.
Now we'll trash the rest of her plan.
Hillary told people that her plan would not be government run. Yeah, right. In her plan, everyone will be required to purchase a health insurance policy, either individually or through an employer. And just who is going to require the purchase of these policies? Hall monitors? Well, not exactly. The Imperial Federal Government will do the requiring here, and the enforcing.
I forgot that our Constitution grants the Federal Government the right to force American citizens to purchase something, let along a health care policy. Oh no I didn't, because it doesn't.
Hillary compared her healthcare plan to auto insurance. She said that states require people to purchase auto insurance before they can drive. The only time you can be required to purchase automobile insurance by a state government is if you wish to drive an automobile on a state or government owned highway. You can own a car and drive it around your private property to your heart's content without buying insurance, or without wearing a seatbelt of having operating headlights, for that matter. Hillary's comparison is stupid wrong, but I suppose it's the best she can do. Poor girl.
Oh...and wouldn't you know it? Hillary's plan includes increasing taxes. Although she doesn't call it a tax increase...she used the MoveOn approved code phrase of "repealing the Bush tax cuts."
Someone once asked me if I liked Hillary and I said no. They then asked me why I didn't like her. I couldn't really come up with a solid reason. So I've started doing my homework, and I've unearthed plenty of reasons I don't like, and won't vote, for Hillary Rodham Clinton.
Hillary Clinton unveiled her new healthcare plan the other day and it will NOT cover illegal criminal aliens. Even Hillary seems to understand that criminals don't deserve any benefits from the government, except a free ride out of the country.
Now we'll trash the rest of her plan.
Hillary told people that her plan would not be government run. Yeah, right. In her plan, everyone will be required to purchase a health insurance policy, either individually or through an employer. And just who is going to require the purchase of these policies? Hall monitors? Well, not exactly. The Imperial Federal Government will do the requiring here, and the enforcing.
I forgot that our Constitution grants the Federal Government the right to force American citizens to purchase something, let along a health care policy. Oh no I didn't, because it doesn't.
Hillary compared her healthcare plan to auto insurance. She said that states require people to purchase auto insurance before they can drive. The only time you can be required to purchase automobile insurance by a state government is if you wish to drive an automobile on a state or government owned highway. You can own a car and drive it around your private property to your heart's content without buying insurance, or without wearing a seatbelt of having operating headlights, for that matter. Hillary's comparison is stupid wrong, but I suppose it's the best she can do. Poor girl.
Oh...and wouldn't you know it? Hillary's plan includes increasing taxes. Although she doesn't call it a tax increase...she used the MoveOn approved code phrase of "repealing the Bush tax cuts."
Someone once asked me if I liked Hillary and I said no. They then asked me why I didn't like her. I couldn't really come up with a solid reason. So I've started doing my homework, and I've unearthed plenty of reasons I don't like, and won't vote, for Hillary Rodham Clinton.
A Comical Post
Here's a few jokes that I found amusing.
--------------------------------
A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits Mexico.
Two million Mexicans have died and over a million are injured. The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with asking for help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock.
Canada is sending troopers to help the Mexican army control the riots.
Saudi Arabia is sending oil. Other Latin American countries are sending supplies.
The European community (except France) is sending food and money.
The United States, not to be outdone, is sending two million Mexicans to replace the dead ones.
--------------------------------
A woman in a hot air balloon realizes she is lost. She lowers her altitude and spots a man fishing from a boat below. She shouts to him,
"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man consults his portable GPS and replies,
"You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
She rolls her eyes and says, "You must be a Republican!"
"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," answers the balloonist, "everything you tell me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you're not much help to me."
The man smiles and responds, "You must be a Democrat."
"I am," replies the balloonist. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and now you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met , but, somehow, now it's my fault."
--------------------------------
Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They're up in heaven, and God's sitting on the great white throne. God addresses Al first.
"Al, what do you believe in?"
Al replies, "Well, I believe that the combustion engine is evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that if any more freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we'll all die."
God thinks for a second and says "Okay, I can live with that. Come and sit at my left."
God then addresses Bill. "Bill, what do you believe in?"
Bill replies, "Well, I believe in power to the people. I think people should be able to make their own choices about things and that no one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do. I also believe in feeling people's pain."
God thinks for a second and says "Okay, that sounds good. Come and sit at my right."
God then address Hillary. "Hillary, what do you believe in?"
"I believe you're in my chair."
---------------------------
Hope you enjoyed them.
--------------------------------
A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits Mexico.
Two million Mexicans have died and over a million are injured. The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with asking for help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock.
Canada is sending troopers to help the Mexican army control the riots.
Saudi Arabia is sending oil. Other Latin American countries are sending supplies.
The European community (except France) is sending food and money.
The United States, not to be outdone, is sending two million Mexicans to replace the dead ones.
--------------------------------
A woman in a hot air balloon realizes she is lost. She lowers her altitude and spots a man fishing from a boat below. She shouts to him,
"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man consults his portable GPS and replies,
"You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
She rolls her eyes and says, "You must be a Republican!"
"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," answers the balloonist, "everything you tell me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you're not much help to me."
The man smiles and responds, "You must be a Democrat."
"I am," replies the balloonist. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and now you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met , but, somehow, now it's my fault."
--------------------------------
Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They're up in heaven, and God's sitting on the great white throne. God addresses Al first.
"Al, what do you believe in?"
Al replies, "Well, I believe that the combustion engine is evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that if any more freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we'll all die."
God thinks for a second and says "Okay, I can live with that. Come and sit at my left."
God then addresses Bill. "Bill, what do you believe in?"
Bill replies, "Well, I believe in power to the people. I think people should be able to make their own choices about things and that no one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do. I also believe in feeling people's pain."
God thinks for a second and says "Okay, that sounds good. Come and sit at my right."
God then address Hillary. "Hillary, what do you believe in?"
"I believe you're in my chair."
---------------------------
Hope you enjoyed them.
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